Dear Princess ‘Ishka,
Sooner or later it has to happen to everyone. It strikes you like the first time you peed your pants at elemetary school in front of all your classmates. You feel powerless and obliterated by some sort of divine verdict, stating YOU ARE GUILTY.
It is not epic, nor particularly dramatic. It actually is embarassing. But it’s time for the world to know. For too long I’ve been living like a fugitive. I need to repent from my sin. So, what happened? I passed intenstinal gas in the University library once. Yes, that means that I farted.
Strage how such a tiny, cute, noisy bubble of smelly gas – that traitor- can make you feel like the meanest of all criminals. When it so innocently pops, it feels like the detonation of thousand atomic bombs, the crush of the tsunami on the pacific seashore of the diligent students. The second before you pretended to be just like them, behind those serious glasses of yours. Now you are suddenly transformed into an outcast. You lost all your dignity in the blink of an eye. You deserve no respect anymore.
Now that you have infringed the sacred silence of the library in such an inappropriate way, there is just one thing to do: pack your bags, and run away. And pass the rest of your life in exile on some isle in the middle of nowhere, on the other side of the globe, where no one can find you.
I’m sorry for having failed you, my Princess. I’ve dishonoured you because of my lack of self-control. There is no lesson to be learned, nor teachings to be given.
In the desolation of my shame, there is one last interpretation I could give my unfortunate destiny: rainbows come in many, unexpected ways.