Self-Conditioning

Dear Princess ‘Ishka,

Can you will to believe that p and therefore believe that p, where p is a proposition like “Donald is the greatest expert on climate issues”? This is a question M, M and I asked ourselves. I am a little embarrassed, because I am not sure about what conclusion we reached specifically, but it definitely was an intense conversation.

In conventional philosophy of mind, beliefs are world-guided mental states, which tend to adapt to the world or to how we perceive it. They are commonly distinguished from desires because desires are, to a certain extent, independent of the world around us (I can desire to grow wings and fly to the moon and back undamaged). Beliefs differ also from intentions, which are mind-guided mental states oriented at performing changes in the world (I intend to paint all yellow cars purple, just for fun).

If beliefs are world-guided, how is it possible that you can intend or desire to believe something and thence believe what you intended or desired? This question might sound complicated, but it is about something that people often say, especially about their political opposers. You might have already encountered propositions of this kind: “Donald’s supporters believe what Donald says even if it is not true, because they want to.”

I want to argue that to believe in virtue of one’s desire or intention to believe is, at least in noncontroversial cases, impossible. First thing to notice is that you usually form beliefs independently of your will. You might ask yourself “What color is the next car I will come across?” and then you might try to compel yourself to believe that it is yellow. But then you see it approaching and light produces on your retina a reaction that makes you see it purple. That’s it, you believe it’s purple and you can’t do anything about it, no matter how hard you try.

However, cosmological, moral or political beliefs might be different in this sense from perceptual ones. It might be easier, with more complex data, to “fake it till you make it” or to condition yourself into thinking something you would otherwise not think. Or so it could be argued.

Think for instance about someone whose family has been hard core leftist for generations. This person might come to believe something just because he is accustomed to do so, or even just because he wants to continue the family’s tradition. I think that this argument is wrong if it leads to the possibility of genuine self-conditioning. Just as in the case of the approaching car, a new political idea might strike him and produce changes in his beliefs independently of his will. All he can will to do is to stay away from different ideas, or block excessively critical reflective assessment of the opinions he already holds.

However, to keep a distance from different ideas and avoiding reflection are not ways to condition yourself. They are rather ways in which you allow only a certain environment to condition your beliefs.

At this point, two objections can be raised: 1) the environment around us is often a social environment, that can be modified with collective intentionality; 2) there are certain psychological cases in which self-conditioning is not only possible, but even encouraged by psychologists.

With respect to 1), I agree. The social environment is conditioned by collective intentionality, even if it is difficult to argue that a collectivity can have reflective control on what it desires and intends. So, to a certain extent, beliefs remain independent from the possibility of self-conditioning. From this perspective, the social environment is mind-guiding in the same sense as any other environment guides the mind. The possibility of believing is out of the reach of our self-conditioning, and possibly even more out of control than in cases of non-social environments.

In the case of 2), which was specially pushed by M, I would argue that what the psychological patient is encourage to do is not to produce beliefs about herself with her willpower, but rather to construct narratives that produce mind-guided attitudes (intentions and desires) that make those narratives self-fulfilling.

Consider the case of a bullied girl, who wants to be cool, join the cheerleaders and forget about her self-worth to become the house pet of some brainless straight guy. She tells herself the story, in which she is not a loner, a loser and a freak. Then she goes to school and is bullied, ridiculed, isolated and left even more depressed than before. Unless she gets mad, in a state of total delusion where the very concept of belief doesn’t make sense anymore, she must deal with the situation she is in. Her beliefs clash with her narrative, but does this mean that she should give up her made up narrative?

Not at all! Indeed, she might be so determined that, little by little, with her practical intelligence and her willpower, she can “fake it till she makes it”. Afterwards, her beliefs will reflect the new situation and realign with her narrative. Otherwise, she might be better counseled, bite the bullet, ignore the bullies, and become a realized human being with talent and self-worth.

Beliefs can be wrong in all sorts of ways, but willing to believe and therefore believe is impossible. This also means that our minds can be conditioned much more from the outside than from the inside. Thus, we need to constantly be open to debate with people with different ideas, and allow the greatest variety of environments to affect us. Otherwise, we seriously might start believing that yellow cars are not produced because of complicated conspiracies, while in fact it was my intention to paint them purple.

Forever yours,

‘Miasha

Compliments

Dear Princess ‘Ishka,

The practice of making compliments has a strange relationship to truthfulness. Sincere compliments are often deemed valuable, but lack of compliments, for the impossibility of making sincere ones, can also be unpolite. Suppose one friend comes to you and asks what you think about his very expensive new coat. You know he has been saving money for months to afford it, but it was beyond your imagination that it would have turned out to be that distasteful.

Now, you might simply say “What a great haircut you have!” instead of mentioning the coat but, unfortunately for you, you have been asked explicitly about the horrible coat. Are you ready to smash his self-confidence, break his heart and end your otherwise rosy relationship just for a stupid coat (and highly questionable fashion choice)?

After all, it is just your taste, why should that be so important? It is for your friend, who trusts your judgment more than his own. Then lie to him! It is a stupid coat (he hopes it were only stupid). A little lie will do no bad, right? But then it wouldn’t be a sincere compliment anymore. Moreover, if you are that confident that the thing he is wearing is that magnificently horrific (you are), you would be doing him a favor to tell him not to make a clown of himself. Unfortunately, he ordered that coat from the other side of the planet, and there’s no way he can get either the money back or a new coat, hence it wouldn’t help to politely suggest to find something else.

You stand there, and you start panicking. Are you going to tell the truth? Or are you going to pay an insincere compliment? In this case, you might be taking the upsides of telling the truth and paying compliments: if you lie and then strongly relativize your taste, as to concede that you would have possibly done the same mistake if ever it were one (it is and you know, you filthy liar), you might at least underline your empathy for him.

But maybe you are not that kind of person to him. You might be a strong independent woman and just not give a damn. You know you are right and if you weren’t, chances are that your overconfidence dictates new fashion standards before anyone gets to notice.

Either way, you will determine yourself to be one kind of friend or another. Friendship is not as easy as it seems and sometimes we must cause minor damages to avoid greater. It is the way in which we solve such difficulties that builds our strongest friendships. The reason? If we didn’t care for that person, we wouldn’t have minded lying or telling the truth without much rumination. If you care, you lie by keeping track of the truth, or tell the truth without losing track of your friend’s feelings.

Forever yours,

‘Miasha

Fat-shaming

Dear Princess ‘Ishka,

Chicken wings, French fries and Coke are irresistible for some individuals, who often display a certain aversion to physical activity. But if they are happy, why bother?

Nowadays, there seems to be two very wide spread opinions on fat people: one is to consider being fat detrimental of the physical and psychological health of a person, and the other supports overweight people in loving themselves against a society of fat-shamers.

At a first glance, I don’t see why the former view should be discriminatory, or the latter crazy, nor why they should be incompatible. Indeed, under the right description, being fat can be a symptom of an unhealthy lifestyle, whereas the social stigma on fat people is pervasive in (at least) western societies.

The easy way of solving this apparent opposition would be to say that being fat is ok for you insofar as you have a healthy lifestyle. Fat-shaming, on the other hand, is never ok, period. But what does count as a healthy lifestyle?

The body-positivity movement has emphasized in recent years the importance of loving your body no matter what and the total opposition to “unrealistic beauty standards”. But what does “no matter what” mean? Does it perhaps mean “independently of an active lifestyle and a healthy nutrition”?

The risk of the ideology behind the body-positivity movement is not really that having an unhealthy lifestyle becomes ok, but rather that taking care of one’s body is somehow less important than taking care of one’s own feelings. The most valuable thing in “love your body” is love, not your body.

In a society with such a heavy stigma on overweight people, what is this ideology leading to if not delusion that one is valuable independently of one’s body? I can love myself, even if I am led to hate myself for being fat. That means that I don’t really love my body, I rather love my personality or my intelligence. But what are we if not body and our understanding of it?

To love oneself truly, and without delusion or repression, one must seriously take care of one’s “materiality”. We are flesh and bones, and there is beauty in the way we cultivate the matter we are made of.

I would thence underline the strong individuality of this process in the face of social stigma or “beauty standards”. This individuality doesn’t mean “everything goes”, but it is regulated by a coherent, unified and consistent personal system of values, which poses the body at one of its focal points.

Can you be content with your body, given the attention with which you treat it? If the answer is yes according to your system, then you truly have nothing to worry about.

Essential for a body-positivity movement is then the focus on self-appreciation through self-cultivation and not on unconditioned self-love. You always need criteria to assess your own beauty, your own worth and your own essence. Without any such criteria, your judgment will remain arbitrary and unreliable, and you will be left to laziness and excessive self-indulgence. How can you trust your self-love if it is always present under the same motto and doesn’t tell you what to do to actually feel better?

I still think that the greatest health issue overweight people face is the discrimination they encounter on a daily base. That is a public battle for recognition and positivity to be fought in the media industry and in ordinary life, by means of supportive actions. But for an individual to feel better about his body, reliable plans and objectives are fundamental.

Self-confidence depends on our worldview inclusive of a robust comprehension of our own bodies. If you don’t mind about what you are made of, how can you mind anything at all?

Forever yours,

‘Miasha